Diagrama FoundationWhat brought you to the decision to adopt?
We had been trying for a baby for a number of years. Then after having a number of failed IVF sessions, we looked at our options to have a family and decided we'd look into adoption.
Were there any myths about adoption that had prevented you exploring adoption previously?
The feeling that we might not love the child or the child wouldn't accept us as his parents. Another myths we came across was 'not telling your child about adoption'. We learnt quickly that there are huge benefits to the wellbeing of the child, particularly when the child is older.
What were the positives of adopting through a small not-for-profit organisation?
The support we received was more personal, and felt that the relationship we made with our social worker to be closer. We felt more 1:2:1 support from social workers. When we first started the process, we had an initial introduction local to us. We quickly created a support group between the other prospective adopters. Another prostive was (and still is) the group support we received from others going through the process at the same time was invaluable.
Why did you choose to adopt through Diagrama?
It was one of the organisations that covered our area with an introduction meeting local to where we live that provided information on adoption.
What was the adoption process like?
At the time, the assessment process felt intense and, at times, made us think about ourselves, how we were brought up and what kind of parents we wanted to be. Overall, the process felt as if it was taking a long time, but was smooth and each stage was explained clearly. Looking back the process wasn't as difficult as we thought. We are fortunate and grateful we had amazing social workers assigned to us who made us feel comfortable and supported throughout the process.
Was it what you expected?
We didn't have any expectations and went into it with an open mind. We didn't expect things to move so quickly once we were matched.
Were there any surprises/disappointments?
We were surprised at how quickly our little one settled with us when he moved in. It's like he was always meant to be part of our life. We had a couple of disappointments after we were approved when we showed interest in children and weren't progressed. All these disappointments quickly disappeared when we were eventually matched with our little one. We were surprised at how competitive the matching process was.
What is the one piece of advice you would have liked before you started the process?
When a young child does eventually move in, your relationship with your other half will be tested. make time for each other and take time out away from each other and don't take reactions from your child personally.
What does having an adopted child mean to you?
It means we can finally be the family we always wished for and give our child all our love and opportunity for the best start in life.
How has life changed?
Our world now revolves around our 4-year-old and we don't have as many 'date nights'. The house is full of toys, books and scraps of paper with 'drawing' on them. Our pockets are also bit lighter but otherwise, we couldn't be happier. Day to day routines can be difficult and tiring, juggling work, school drop-off's/pick-up's, cooking dinner, cleaning and so on...but the rewards are plentiful and makes it all worthwhile. Having someone call you mummy & daddy, seeing their face when they've not seen you for a whole day, the way they come to you for comfort. All of this makes your family complete.
What excites you about the future as a family?
We're excited to see our boy grow into a confident, handsome, intelligent and empathetic young man and knowing that we have played a part in this by guiding, supporting and loving him. We would consider growing our family and going through the process again.
What would you say to other people who might be considering fostering or adoption?
I would say to definitely do it! it's the best thing we have ever done in our life.
